Humans instinctively seek relationships in their lives. Whether it be romantic relationships, friendships or family relationships, these relationships can help us live happy and connected lives. Our head psychologist, Mary Magalotti principal phychologist and our team of psychologists offer relationship counselling to help establish and maintain healthy and strong relationships. It is important to recognise patterns within your relationships so you can understand the trends and behaviours that need to change. Our Director, Jodie Brenton director life resolutions want all Australians to have the skills and knowledge to live a happy and healthy life. Here are some ways to recognise patterns within your relationships.


Pinpointing Relationship Patterns

Understanding and pinpointing specific patterns in your relationships can be tough, it is hard to observe patterns when you are so close to the situation/relationship. In order to gain a true perspective on your relationships, it is important to take the time to carefully and mindfully observe aspects of your relationship. A meaningful examination of your relationships requires you to be open to analysing yourself within the relationship, as the relationship does involve you and your dynamic. This also means you have to identify where you and the other person begin and ends, and where the individuals start and end. This will help you separate your issues from theirs and identify the issues that occur within the relationship.

Here are some simple steps that can help:

Identify the issue

Before trying to fix your relationship, you need to clearly define the issue or issues.. A deeper analysis of the issue is needed before you can try and overcome the issue. Having a clear idea of the issue is the first step in fixing the problem.

Cite the patterns that are causing problems to arise and continue

This is an important step in analysing the reoccurring patterns in your relationships. You can gain this perspective by looking at the larger actions and situations around the specific issue. A deep look at patterns or themes in the relationship that might appear unrelated on the surface, but are related to the issues you define. 

Understand how you may be contributing to the problem

This step may be confronting, but it is important to understand that you are involved in elements of the relationship. Looking at how you contribute to the problems or patterns can uncover how much you or the other person is contributing to the problem. This helps recognise that you are not a passive actor in the relationship and you are actively seeking the deeper issues and dynamics in the relationship.

Intercept ‘patterned’ behaviour

Once you have completed the previous steps, you can then identify the situations that cause patterned behaviours or emotions. Once these are recognised, you can take action to ensure the behaviours or situations play out in a different way. However, throughout this step, it is important that you are communicating with the other person to ensure they are also trying to stop pattern behaviours.

Seek help

This process is difficult and can be scary. Seeking professional help can improve your relationships in a range of ways. From problem identification to changing behaviours to outlining goals within your relationships, professionals can help you build and maintain healthy relationships


Life Resolutions and Relationships

Here at Life Resolutions psychotherapist, we offer a range of services that can help you with your relationships. Some of these services include; couples counselling, family counselling, socialising and friendship help, relationship advice and life issues counselling. No matter your relationship concerns, our experienced team is here to help.

Mary Magalotti and Jodie Brenton want to ensure that all Australians have access to relationship counselling, as relationships are an important facet of life. The Life Resolutions NDIS psychologist team of psychologists are experienced in providing relationship counselling both face-to-face and via telehealth. Learn more about our services on our website. You can also book online or over the phone.