Let’s be honest. Weddings these days don’t look much like the ones our parents threw. Gone are the days of stiff receiving lines, plastic-looking cake toppers, and politely pretending you love the chicken marsala. Modern weddings have traded tradition for authenticity, and with that shift comes a fresh set of etiquette rules. Because let’s face it, even in a world of Instagram-worthy elopements and backyard bashes, good manners still matter.

I’ve been to my fair share of weddings lately, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the new etiquette isn’t about following old-school rules. It’s about being thoughtful, flexible, and maybe laughing a little when the ring bearer throws a tantrum mid-aisle. So, whether you're planning your own big day or RSVPing to a friend's, here’s a breakdown of the modern wedding etiquette everyone should know.

Invitations: Ditch the Pressure Once upon a time, wedding invites came with a plus-one for every guest and a neatly addressed RSVP card. Now? Not so much. Today’s couples are getting intentional about who they invite and how they send those invites. Digital invites are totally acceptable now, especially if your vibe is more casual or your guest list is small.

Also, it’s okay to set limits. You don’t owe your coworker’s cousin a seat at your wedding ceremony. Send your invites early, be clear about the guest list (yes, you can politely say no kids), and make RSVP-ing easy. A little clarity goes a long way in avoiding awkward conversations later.

Social Media: To Post or Not to Post Here’s a big one. Modern weddings and social media are practically inseparable, but it’s still polite to ask before posting someone else’s big moment. Some couples love a good hashtag and welcome every photo, while others want to keep things private.

If you’re a guest, check the program or look for signs at the venue. If it’s a phone-free ceremony, respect it. And if you’re dying to post your outfit selfie, maybe save it for cocktail hour.

Gifts: It’s Not About the Blender Anymore Back in the day, wedding gifts meant crystal vases and casserole dishes. Now, many couples prefer cash, honeymoon funds, or donations to their favorite charity. And guess what? That’s totally fine.

I once attended a wedding where the registry was a list of local restaurants the couple wanted to try during their first year of marriage. Honestly, it was brilliant. The new rule? Give something meaningful or useful. And if you’re the couple, make it easy for guests by offering a mix of options.

Dress Code Decoded If you’ve ever stared blankly at a wedding invite that said “garden cocktail attire,” you’re not alone. Dress codes have gotten a little… creative. The best advice? When in doubt, ask.

And if you’re the couple, give your guests clear guidance. A casual backyard wedding is different from a black-tie affair at a historic mansion. Bonus points if you include a few outfit suggestions on your wedding website. Nobody wants to be the one guest in sequins at a barefoot beach ceremony.

Who Walks Down the Aisle? This one’s been flipped on its head lately, and honestly, it’s about time. There’s no rulebook anymore on who walks whom down the aisle. I’ve seen couples walk in together, brides walk solo, and grooms escorted by their moms. It’s your moment. Do what feels right.

At a friend’s wedding last summer, the couple’s dog trotted down the aisle first, proudly carrying the rings. Did it steal the show? Absolutely. Was it the sweetest thing ever? 100 percent.

Venue Etiquette: Be a Thoughtful Guest If you’re attending a wedding at a unique spot, like a farm, mountaintop, or charming riverside barn, remember that each venue has its quirks. At one wedding I went to at a vineyard, guests forgot to wear sensible shoes and spent the evening sinking into the grass.

So, read the details ahead of time. Especially if it’s an outdoor or destination wedding. The Barn on New River, for example, is a gorgeous spot for a wedding ceremony, but you’ll want to plan your outfit (and your footwear) accordingly.

Final Thoughts: It’s All About Thoughtfulness Modern wedding etiquette isn’t about rigid rules; it’s about kindness, common sense, and embracing the quirks that make each celebration unique. If you’re the couple, communicate clearly and make choices that reflect who you are. And if you’re a guest, show up with a good attitude, follow the couple’s lead, and remember you’re there to celebrate love, preferably with a slice of cake in hand.

After all, weddings are one of the rare times in life when people gather just to be happy for someone else. That’s worth celebrating right.